You've been Facebooked!

I remember freshmen year, I used to wait with bated breath at my computer, hoping against hope that my Hottie McGorgeous from Dillon Hall would accept my friendship on Facebook. I remember my roommate used to get “Facebooked” by guys across the street that found her in the DogBook and looked her up on Facebook. I remember when the most important goal in my life was hitting triple digits in my friend count. As young, awkward freshmen in college, our most important contacts were made through such sites as Facebook and MySpace. I didn’t know a soul on campus, and these online networks were ways for me to find people and groups that I was interested in.

I kind of miss those blissful days of care-free Facebook. I didn’t care who I friended and being “facestalked” was flattering. However, I now have my profile set so high on the privacy settings that I might as well not have a profile at all. As I have grown older and a little bit more mature, I began to realize that those connections I make in real life are so much more satisfying than those I made on Facebook. My relationships of those I met on Facebook or MySpace never went anywhere beyond a poke or wall post; hardly a satisfying relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, I have tons of friends on Facebook that I know in real life, but I would definitely say relationships with those I friend on Facebook are more solid in real life than they are in cyberspace. Hottie McGorgeous is a fleeting thought to me now. I communicate with my friends via Facebook to wish them a virtual happy birthday, make inappropriate comments on their walls, or to share an inside joke through a virtual Facebook “gift”. It is no longer a way to create my relationships, but to enhance them.

It does seem that some relationships are suffering due to these online networks. I have actually seen buttons and t-shirts that say “MySpace ruined my relationship” before. On the other hand, this blog post argues that Facebook itself is using trust to make advantageous marketing ploys. The duality of online networking systems is a very interesting theme to explore. I know that I personally do not think that Facebook is a base for my relationships, but I do believe that it enhances them. Other individuals, however, feel it has more influence than that.

Dwight is on Second Life!

Okay, for all you The Office fans in the class...did anyone see this week's episode??

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qQGTyc6k4JA

You better believe Dwight is on Second Life! Too funny!

See you in class!
Nicole :)

social networking, how real is real?

I am still surprised by how popular online networking has become over the past few years. Almost everyone I come in contact with has some profile online. In the 'getting to know you phase' of relationships key questions are now "where do you live?", "Whats your phone number" and "Can I look you up online". It is pretty much a guarantee that you can find someone online. But I always wonder, how well can you get to know someone through what they post on the internet? Is the internet really a way for you to get to know other people or is it a means for people to pretend they are something they are not. There really isn't a 'big brother' censoring what you put about yourself on the internet. Sure, there are consequences and nothing is ever private, but for the most part, there is no way to prove what is true and what is false when it comes to online networking. In many ways, social networking allows participants to create the identity that they want, not necessary the identity they have, as seen by other individuals. This became apparent to me in the article about teens and MySpace. In the very beginning, there is a quote from a teen who admits that MySpace allows her portray the identity that her peers in school know nothing about. Social networking allows for self-expression in a way that you might not be able to show in real life with your face-to-face relationships.
This use a social networking is absolutely harmless and in some ways, probably healthy for that shy, new girl with few friends. The main appeal of social networking is that you are able to write whatever you want and be whoever you want. However, this fact only does create a problem, cue the online predator. Which such an opportunity for flighty identities, more and more people are falling victim to online harassment, especially teens and younger. CBS examines the growing interest in social networking, noting its increased probability for online predators here.
With such a vast online community, it is next to impossible to censor it and even more impossible to trust it. When developing relationships primarily online, who is to say what is true and what isn't? Are so many people depending on online relationships because they feel it is safer because they don't have to interact face-to-face, despite the fact that they might never know if they person they are communicating with is really who they say they are.
Needless to say, I am bringing out my untrusting nature at this point. I just cant imagine getting involved in a relationship online with someone, anyone, without knowing them in person to back up what they are saying online. Who is to know whether they are presenting themselves accurately or not.
This fact concerns me even more when I think about all the children and preteens with internet access these days. A good percent of users on social networking sites are children under the age of 18. These children and their parents should be aware of the internet dangers these sites present.
So despite the freedom the internet allows, I cant help but wonder if this is all too much of a good thing when it comes to the more impressionable youth. Who knows what kind of people are out there in cyberland . . . . .

How Private are your Privacy Settings?

I have taken every possible precaution to make sure that every profile on every online community I have is as private as possible. My profile is blocked on MySpace. You cannot even search for me on Facebook if I haven’t already added you as a friend. I don’t even have anything written on my Second Life profile. However, I recently discovered that putting all of your privacy settings on “stay the hell out” doesn’t always work. Here is an article describing some of the problems this conundrum has created.

I won’t go into details, but I had placed something on my supposedly private Facebook profile that I did not want the entire world to see, just those people that I know. However, one of my supervisors at Notre Dame hacked on to my profile and found it. I was reprimanded by about 73 different people about 86 different times that day. My scholarship was even threatened.

I felt so betrayed by my good friend, Facebook. That day I even stripped half of my profile. All the pictures that were tagged of me, my interests, I was tempted to delete my entire wall as well. I am frightened to know that even if I place all those protections on my profile, people can still find me and people can still see things I don’t want them too. Does that make me naïve to think something as expansive as the internet is not private? Or is it wrong of those communities to lull me into a false sense of security?

Even administrators seem to be having a problem with online communities and their reputation. However, it does seem that employers are being pressured to stop this type of behavior.

(Just incase that last link does not work: http://www.onrec.com/newsstories/18848.asp)

Online communities - a breeding ground for hate?

I love online communities. I love Facebook, I love blogs, I love Second Life. Connecting with people from all over the world makes me feel worldly. However, I recognize there is a danger in the internet. There always has been. I remember when I was in middle school, my parents gave me unsupervised unlimited time on the internet. Of course, I spent it chatting with boys on AIM, but my one rule was "No Chatrooms." I'm sure my mom had a vision of some creepasaurus rex stalking and abducting me (she, like many of us, has a horrible fascination with Dateline's To Catch a Predator). But after many years of scouring the internet and "meeting" new people, I realize that, if I play my cards right, I'm not going to encounter the elusive internet predator. However, I feel that if I identify as an "other", or what Slack identifies as the "marked", I open myself up for relentless harassment. By "other", I mean by identifying as a woman.

Sexual harassment and threats are not new to the internet. The anonymity of the virtual community is a breeding ground for hate. You think The Observer is bad? Check out some of the comments on youtube. It's downright hateful. And because it's so rampant and so anonymous, it can't be pursued legally.

Which begs the question.... do you all think the internet should be monitored?



(Note: I've lost my toolbar. This seems to be a site-wide problem, according to Blogger.)
Here are the links I wanted to add: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/
http://www.tpmcafe.com/blog/coffeehouse/2007/apr/12/misogyny_in_our_midst

Connectivity Across the World

In Smart Mobs: The Power of the Mobile Many, Howard Rheingold presents a case for the emerging importance of technology, specifically the use of Short Message Service, in the formation and coordination of unified masses. Despite the fact that these groups – termed “smart mobs” by the author –demonstrate a plethora of diverse objectives, they are united by the (radical) ways in which (coordination) is achieved. Rheingold presents several examples of significant smart mob movements, such as the assembly of tens of thousands of anti-Estrada Filipinos in 2001 or the highly-tactical maneuvering of demonstrators at the “Battle of Seattle” in 1999. The outcomes of these gatherings – the peaceful overthrow of President Joseph Estrada and the disruption of World Trade Organization talks – indicate that today’s technologically-assisted methods of “swarm strategies” are indeed important considerations for politicians, militaries, organizations, and citizens alike.
In the modern world, the cell phone has become one of the most effective means of communication. The cascading effect of this, of course, has been the implementation of cell phone technologies into countless facets of everyday life. From joke-sharing to advertising, the cell phone has changed the ways, and speed, in which we live our lives. Rheingold captures this in his article, highlighting SMS’s effect on an abnormally large scale. As he indicates in the latter part of his article, the emergent properties of swarm systems is potentially reflected in the evolution of the cell phone into an instrument of massive social networking – both for good and for bad. In essence, the development of cellular technology has progressed far beyond the visions of its creators based upon the morphing cultural climate of our world today.
Whereas the author focuses on events that are, to some extent, outside of the individual reader’s life (such as the use of global positioning for the military or the utilization of SMS for the organization of a protest group), he does not fail to mention emerging technology’s presence in the day to day lives of people around the globe. For example, he briefly discusses “interpersonal awareness devices” such as the Lovegety keychain device that was introduced in Japan in 1998. Since then, the world has witnessed the invention of diverse applications that enhance communication, such as the introduction of GPS technology or the growing force of SMS marketing. Today, a cell phone user can employ an application such as Loopt to determine her friends’ positions to within thirty feet – a capability that one could hardly have dreamt of years ago. (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/11/14/BUGMMMC1KE1.DTL) Another possibility over which advertisers have lusted is the potential for SMS marketing; from coupon distribution to the notification of special sales, companies are taking advantage of the cell phone’s proximity to its user. Already, text messages have been used to send offers and promotions to potential customers in malls or small localities.
Finally, Rheingold’s reflection on the cell phone’s ability to coordinate group behavior is epitomized by the inception of emergency text message alert systems at college campuses across the country, including the University of Notre Dame. Similar to the ways in which text messages were used to coordinate movement during the “Battle of Seattle,” these systems alert students of danger on campus in order to prevent their usual congregation in classroom buildings and other structures.
As the use of cell phones continues to grow across the globe, it is no surprise that its capabilities are expanded and developed to enhance the ways in which we live. The quickest and, arguably, most reliable form of communication, it is the perfect instrument for transmitting a message; whether that be the announcement of a promotion, the warning of a danger on campus, or the disclosure of a time and place for a protest, SMS and related technologies surely indicate a dramatic shift in the ease of connectivity across the world community and the ways in which such changes affect every aspect of our lives.

“I’m So Much Cooler Online”

This is a song title from the new Brad Paisley CD. The song lyrics are all about the different personalities that one can acquire through online chatting and profiles. The lyrics are both funny but scary at the same time. http://www.elyricsworld.com/look/b/Brad-Paisley-lyrics/Online-lyrics.html

These lyrics remind me of the days when I was younger and just starting out with the whole instant messaging thing. When my family first got a computer, My mom would talk online to my family in Germany and my aunts and uncles. She started by using AOL instant messaging, which I also wanted. My first screen name was emmylousallysue. That is a name that my dad and uncle call sometimes and I needed a screen name that no one else would have. I talked to the kids that were from school and occasionally when outsiders to me would IM me, I would respond if my mother wasn’t looking because she was totally against it. One of the things that I remember most was the beginnings of the short hand words like lol for laughing out loud. I also remember when random people would IM me they would say, a/s/l which meant age, sex, location. I always said the truth about my age and sex but I remember my location changing all the time. Sometimes I was from California, others I was from New York and sometimes I was from another country. I don’t know why I did that, I guess it was because I didn’t want to give out all my information but I felt that if changed my location, I would be able to be myself and yet feel the securities of knowing that me as a person from that state didn’t even actually exist.

After AOL IM, it became a craze in my middle school to have MSN messaging. It was the hotmail account messaging and everyone had it at school. There were ninety three kids in my middle school class and I probably had 75 people on my list of friends that spanned not only my grade but the other kids in higher and lower grades that I knew. This was the first place where I discovered emoticaons, which began to make regular appearances in all of my messages to people. I do not think that I had anyone on my friends list that was not from Dillon where I am from. Everyone I talked to on there was less than two miles away talking right back. I do not feel like my identity changed at all through MSN messaging because everyone who was on my friends list knew me.

When I got to college, I realized that everyone here has AOL instant messaging so again I took on that role. This time, I changed my screen name, emmamt5, and only have friends on that list that are students at Saint Mary’s and Notre Dame. I only get on when I am bored or need something from someone who frequents their computer. They all know me as well so there is no need for me to lie about where I am from or who I am.

I also have facebook and myspace. I have facebook because everyone has it and it is a way to talk and learn about other people at Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s as well as entertain me when I look through everyone’s pictures and comments. I have Myspace because my mom and my sisters do not have facebook and I want to be able to communicate to them through some sort of technology other than the cell phone. I have a few friends on myspace and am very apprehensive about adding people I do not know who request to be my friend.

I think that the reading Culture and Identity is a great reading and a reassuring article about the need for self protection when it comes to information on the internet and instant messaging. Dateline has been doing installments of their investigation into child predators through the internet. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11152602/ This address is a link to the site that talks about the work that dateline has been doing to catch these sick freaks.

I think that this is a definite problem that people face while chatting on the internet and everyone should be fully aware of the risks. Anyone can say anything about their location, their age, and their attributes because there is no way of knowing for sure the actual truth. It is so easy to make up things about yourself online and no one ever has to know that you are lying. People find it easier to confront each other through messaging, and predators are able to seduce and corrupt youth into believing they are someone they aren’t or that they are who they are and their motives for chatting are not what they actually are.

I think this article does a lot for the sense of real identity being corrupted by the possibilities that lie within the wave lengths of the internet and the ability one has to completely change themselves and every quality true to the self. That is both intriguing and scary at the same time.

Emma

"Online"

Has anyone heard the song "Online" by Brad Paisley? Well, here's the video... it's actually about what we are learning in class! Linda, I thought you might get a kick out of this...

I Forgot What My Roommate's Voice Sounds Like

Stoll offered a different perspective about the internet community that I believe is rarely taken into consideration. While most of us praise the internet for all of its capabilities and take pride in our Facebook and Myspace addictions, there is something missing in our internet communities. Stoll believes that it is “a feeling of permanence and belonging, a sense of location, [and] a warmth from the local history” that makes internet communities less “real” than our face to face ones. Other authors agree that real world interactions are being lost.

While I can admit that it is an amazing thing to be connected with anyone around the world at anytime, the internet can be a very cold place. The internet is replacing real life experiences with electronically mediated ones. No longer does a child select and care for a new pet, they just create their own online on a site called Webkins. The internet pet must be fed and exercised, but it can be left alone for hours, taking away from the real experience of raising a pet, a great tool for building childhood responsibility. Children are really losing out on a sense of personal responsibility and accountability because of the internet. If they did spend more time in the real world, than the virtual world, they would have more hands on experiences to teach them.

Not that children are the only ones who are suffering from living in virtual worlds. I myself will find that I will not speak a word to another human being for hours, but spend an entire night talking online. The internet takes away from that sense of camaraderie you might build having a late night chat with a girlfriend. Now, conversations can be simultaneously had with multiple people and the people you are IMing are none the wiser about who else you are talking to. A deep meaningful conversation can not have the same function and success online as it does in person. In person you have someone’s undivided attention and you are actually using real words, not abbreviated IM language.

The internet has become more common than speaking out loud for some people (myself included). My roommate and I, who at no point in our apartment can be more than 30 feet apart, talk online frequently. We will be in the next room and instead of getting up and walking to each other we will talk for hours online. One of the strangest sensations I have noticed is that when we will be having a conversation online, and then one of us will get up to go to the kitchen, one of us will pass the other person, and not say one word. Then when whoever was walking around sits back down at their computer the conversation will be picked up right where it started. We never even discuss how strange this is because it has become totally common place for us. We even have very strange mixed conversations of yelling out loud to one another and typing online. If I yell to my roommate and she can not understand me, she will type "What did you just yell to me?" and we will continue our mixture of vocal dialogue and IMing. (Luckily, my roommate and I are not the only ones.) A common occurrence is asking the other one what we should have for dinner, once decided on AIM, we silently meet in the kitchen and begin cooking without a word passing between us.

Although my roommate and I have been able to maintain a healthy friendship, the next generation will have an even harder time separating their online community from their real one. I think this will greatly impact their personalities and interpersonal skills.

Are we all on the way to becoming Internet addicts?

I agree with Victoria in the sense that after reading Bucy’s book, I did not realize how prevalent the Internet is in our lives today. Bucy describes this phenomenon as “Internet fever,” and states that “it seemed that all we needed to do was get a person online and he or she would be changed forever. And people were” (Bucy 26). This is true. People in our society have come to use the Internet for many things such as a form of communication, source of information, a way to browse and make purchases, a sense of control over money through online banking, and as a form of entertainment. If you think about it, this a lot of dependency on one thing, and this dependency is scary! It is scary because like Victoria mentioned too much Internet could lead to the possibility of an Internet addiction!

Bucy states that “the Web is an unnatural world, one we have built for ourselves” (Bucy 43). This statement is true because if you think about it, everyone uses the Internet how he or she wants, but is the way we are using the Internet unhealthy? Is it addictive? I believe so. Through sites such as “Second Life,” people can create new worlds and new identities. This sounds fun, but this can be addictive. “New worlds create new people” (Bucy 45). This means people could be living double lives: a physical and a virtual one that could be difficult to separate. Is living a double life unhealthy? If you can’t decide check out this article.

Bucy also states, “computers networks isolate us from one another, rather than bring us together” (Bucy 192). I believe this concept is true especially when it comes to family life. Victoria briefly touches this subject in her blog when she mentions that her sisters spend lots of time on aim talking to friends instead of communicating with the family. “Kids that interact with computers rather than their parents miss out on the most important part of growing: being close to their families” (Bucy 192). This is so true! The Internet brings less face to face social interaction, and it is sad that it is occurring within families! Are parents saying it is ok to be this way by allowing their children to become isolated and addicted to the Internet? I hope not!

Unfortunately, at the rate our society is accepting the Internet, it is a wonder we are not all on the way to becoming addicts. What I mean by this is so many things in society are now being available online. For example one does not have to have much face to face interaction anymore, let alone leave the comfortable atmosphere of his or her home any more than he or she chooses because there is the option of online classes, online banking with direct deposit, and browsing and purchasing items online such as food, clothes, etc. I am sure these things were developed out of convenience for our fast-paced society, but is this convenience tearing apart from face to face social interaction? Are we all on the way to becoming addicted?

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem.

After reading the chapters in Bucy’s book, I realized that the internet really DOES have a huge place in our lives. More than likely, every person on the Saint Mary’s Campus accesses the internet daily, and if not, at least weekly. Email is one of the preferred forms of communication between everyone that belongs to this community, and classes often require the use of Blackboard (or this blog!).

But I found an extremely interesting web site that actually discusses the possibility of an internet addiction. There is a test that you can take to see if you, in fact, are addicted and if the internet is negatively affecting your life! Netaddiction.com is actually a primary source for internet addiction (or the term IAD - internet addiction disorder) and recovery. The web site covers everything from online affairs to obsessive online gaming, and everything in between.

It is crazy to think of using the internet because you are actually addicted to it, but it totally makes sense! Individuals spend so much time on the internet that they may be shutting out others, avoiding responsibilities, and even hurting their psychological state. This article found on webmd.com talks about internet addiction being linked to teen depression. I know many people who spend countless hours behind the computer, and never have real face-to-face social interactions. Especially with the creation of sites such as Second Life, I can see where people substitute virtual interactions for authentic ones or use an avatar to express who they believe they truly are inside. It is this emotional attachment that may be creating the addiction – the need to feel connected or understood.

My younger sisters spend countless hours talking to their friends via AIM and I distinctly remember staring at the computer screen so much that my eyes would start hurting from the strain. But are we addicted?

For more internet addiction information, go to addictionrecov.org

Ellen stand up about cell phones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sfx7UUJbjvo&mode=related&search=

if you like Ellen...this is a hilarious clip about cell phones. Watch from about 3:00 forward OR just watch the entire series :) very funny!

If you are familiar with the PostSecret blog, you might find this article very interesting. Actually, even if you're not familiar with the blog, you'll probably like it. Very heartwarming.

new technology, new language

OMG, R U for real lol idk im LMAO - Chances are this will make no sense to anyone born after a certain year. That is because they are not trained in the language of text messaging, a dialogue based off of the once commonly used tongue of Instant messaging. In this suspicious, yet somehow comprehensible language, words are abbreviated, shorten, and even eliminated. Just think of the cingular phone commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySR3hpieiQc .

I love this commercial because it so perfectly captures this society's increasing obsession with text messaging and the text messaging lingo. Alot of times, someone from a different generation might read the sentence above and think "what is the world coming too!" Generation Y doesn't even bother speaking proper English anymore. One cant help but wonder what effect the text messaging language is having on teens. Is it hurting their ability to communicate effectively with anyone outside their texting network because they have become so accustomed to messaging shorthand and communication via text instead of face-to-face. But a study done by Toronto University shows that this might not be the case.
http://www.news.utoronto.ca/bin6/060731-2474.asp
Despite the oddness of it all, teens are learning how to differentiate a speaking voice from a writing voice, yet that writing voice is at a more formal level.Ling points that out in this chapter that text messaging is combining the spoken language and the written language. Text messaging is becoming just another outlet for individuals to express themselves.
However, the main reason, according to Ling, for the growth in text messaging is "that text messages are relatively cheap and convenient." The cost of sending a text message is drastically different than the cost of making a phone call. Many cell phone services are now planning their marketing technique around the fact that cell phones are so much more cheaper. Exhibit A, the cingular commercial. Whether this is going to be good for society overall is a hard call to make. True, text messages are allowing individuals to communicate with others more continuously but I have also noticed a trend developing when it comes to text messaging, people message others for the stupidest reason. I am most certainly guilty of this when I catch myself sending messages that just say "hi", "I'm bored", "I just saw a skunk". Chances are good that the receiver of these messages doesn't care that I'm bored yet still becomes excited at the text simply for the fact that its a personal message for them. Even with the growth of text messaging, there is still an element of excitement involved with it that makes people want to continuously engage in it, no matter how pointless our logic says it is.
Ling says the text message is the most utilized medium in communication. Needless to say, its going to be around for awhile. I believe what we will begin to see is a shift in society where people will send a text message before they actually make a phone call. I am afraid this will only widen the gap in intimate relationships because now, you are not even hearing their voice, just words written on a screen. IDK, maybe we will all adjust. . . .

Texting

As I was reading Chapter 7 of Ling, I came across a very interesting quote. "Often when we are sitting on the bus or subway it is boring, and so we can write messages and that entertains us in those boring moments." (Ling 147) This pretty much sums up how pathetic some people are in life....including ME! When I take the train home to Chicago, which is quite often, I find myself texting to distract myself on the two hour ride. Why texting? Who knows. Its not like I don't have homework to do or reading to get ahead in my classes. Instead I think it is just the fact that I would rather text somebody even if I had the option to call them, and I would most definitely prefere to socialize (but not with the strangers surrounding me because confrontation is not my thing)!

Determined to find some answers, I decided to read further to where it said that instead of trying to make it through an awkard conversation, you can take the time to really plan out what you are going to say and then edit it at the same time. This is definitely true for me and a huge plus because a lot of times I say something when I am nervous that I wish I could take back. There was even a section that talked about the timing of texting and it also mentioned that there were rules of what you can say in a text. So if there are all of these "restrictions" of what can be said in a text and at what time, why do people still resort to them over calling? I guess I am still searching for that answer myself. But in the meantime, I loved this part of the reading because one of my good friends just told me that her boyfriend of 1 year broke up with her in a text!!! Yes, I am totally serious too. But, that is not as bad as this story Malaysia permits text message divorce. I am pretty sure that breaking up/divorcing in a text message should not be permitted in society, so why do we let it happen?

Another very interesting part of this chapter I found was that people texting has been associated with social movements, revolts and campaigns and also bullying! I never knew that such behavior occured and I was skeptic about it until I read this When Text Messaging Turns Ugly. Further on in the reading, it said that people can anonymously send text messages and that is when most of the bullying takes place. I definitely disagree with though. In fact I did an experiment with my roommate. On my particular cell phone I can block my number while making calls. To my surprise though it is only with calls. I sent her a text and my number showed up. I do not though if this varies with each different carrier, but in my own experience I found that you could not block your number. However, if this service would ever be available or is now, I think that it would be a liability to carriers to allow this service because people might take advantage of the anonymity to the extent that they are harming people by: bullying, harassing or stalking somebody.

In conclusion, this reading was very repetitive in some aspects, but the information that we have not talked about before was fascinating to me. I never knew that there were so many restrcitions and rules of texting. On a lighter note, check out this website and entertain yourself with theseFunny texting cartoons.

-Molly

Imagine this:

You're out to dinner at a somewhat decent dining establishment (think TGI Friday's or Max and Erma's). A phone rings. The man next to you has set his cell phone to a deafeningly loud ring tone that makes it sound like an old obnoxious rotary phone on steroids. He reaches for it (of course it's on his belt loop like he's a tech savvy Clint Eastwood), looks at the phone to check the caller ID (will he EVER turn off that horrendous ring tone?), looks around to make sure everyone in this establishment has seen him with his "fantastic" piece of technology (ok, we get it, but that cell phone is SO last season), and finally answers it (as though his booming voice is any better than the ear shattering ring tone). The caller obviously asks him what he's doing because he goes into a detailed explanation of who he is with, what restaurant they are in, the temperature of the room, the temperature of the food, the possibility of dessert, the number of calories in the chicken, the number of green beans on his plate, and the hair he just found in his mashed potatoes.
You lose your appetite.
And so do I. Because this man is my father.

I think I'm a cell phone cynic. My dad LOVES to show off his important piece of technology, he always has. (No, seriously, Dad, cell phones are pretty common now. You're not that big of a deal anymore. Suck it up.) But my cell phone is a little beaten up and will soon be requiring duct tape. Is this why I don't always have it with me and refuse to answer it in most social situations? Maybe, but it is probably because I hate when people can eavesdrop on me. And I hate hate hate people on the phone in public spaces. Other people's private conversations make me really awkward... and Lord knows no one is going to hear my conversations!

Does this make me a cell phone prude? Probably, but what is proper cell phone etiquette? It's such a new device that social rules regarding it have not yet been established. This means I'm probably going to have to suffer at least a decade of more awkwardness before we can work out the kinks as a society. Or maybe I'll just have to suck it up and this will become the norm. (Oh, I hope not...) But if Tech God hands a Tech Prophet a set of Cell Phone Commandments, give me a call. I probably won't answer, but leave a message after the annoying tone.


I guess I'll just move to Brooklyn and turn down that date with Orlando Bloom.

Intrusive Nature of Mobile Phones

It is kind of ironic that Chapter 6 in Ling was assigned for tomorrow since I was just recently discussing the intrusive nature of cell phones with my roommate. We were at a nice restaurant. Everyone was enjoying their overly priced meals. And then it happened--the ringing of a cell phone interrupted the peace. The interruption, I'm ashamed to say, came from our own table. The person who we were with, who shall remain nameless, had no qualms about answering her phone and having a 10 minute conversation with god-knows-who about what her boyfriend had done to her the previous evening.

Ling writes "2/3 of the respondents in a European-wide survey either 'tended to agree' or agreed'" that the mobile phone disturbs people. Well, I can say from experience, and the dirty looks we received, that this number seems to even be a bit low--especially within a restaurant setting. People go to a restaurant and establish "symbolic fenses," (125) to create a private space for themselves within a public setting. A ringing cell phone disturbs all who are around and subsequently deconstructs the symbolic fenses people have created.

Someone talking on their cell phone also creates what Goffman called "sound interference" (128). Ling writes, "In this case the violator fills up his or her accorded space [booth, table, etc.] and then some." This is often magnified in public places like restaurants because people who talk on a cell phone talk louder than if they were having a normal conversation. Ling writes that some argue the increased volume of talk stems from a "desire to display" (129). A New York Times article echoes these sentiments saying cell phone abusers use their phones in public settings to simply say "Look at ME. Listen to ME. Stop everything you are doing at your own table, and pay attention to ME."

Restaurateurs have recognized the disruptive nature of the cell and some restaurants are actually stepping up to stand up for those (myself included) who do not enjoy these disruptions of their meals while some restaurants are simply turning a blind eye. Restaurant.org says most of the restaurants are not opposed to cell phone use as long as it is not clearly disrupting others or does not go on for an extended period of time. This however, is very rarely the case. This website mentions Danny Meyer, an owner of 4 NYC restaurants and his disdain for the cell phone. He writes in his spring newsletter: “If clouds of cigarette smoke and pungent fragrances like Giorgio and Poison were the dining-room scourges of the ’80s, then the rampant, inconsiderate use of cell phones in restaurants has become their baneful heir as we approach the year 2000.”

So I ask, would it be so terribly difficult to excuse one's self to field an important phone call? And if you MUST field a phone call in a restaurant please don't yell. It's modern technology people, and usually a normal volume is just fine. Everyone in the restaurant doen't need to know about your dentist appointment, future plans for the evening, or who you're romantically interested in. Cell phone etiquette needs more attention so that we can all enjoy our meals in peace.